00:01.78 bizzyweb I had a really interesting conversation with somebody this week Dave who owns ah a martial arts facility who owns a martial arts facility and he was telling me about this kid this kid that was complaining at. School about his ah his training to another kid at school and the 2 kids in question were in sixth grade and so he called the the complainer kids mom and said you know hey I don't appreciate this and you shouldn't be doing that and I said cool. Why. 00:25.37 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb He. 00:38.47 bizzyweb It's sixth graders. They don't like anything what are you doing and he said but he was complaining about me I said well it was any of it true well no, okay, so you just made a mom mad. Was going to defend her kid because two sixth graders were complaining on the on the park on the on the on the playground is like oh okay and I think people in this day and age Dave I think they've lost something really important which. Kind of what we're going to be talking about today which is just a simple concept of resiliency and how sometimes you just got to get a little tougher. Not all the time. Not all and not in all cases sometimes toughness doesn't actually ah apply or help. But. 01:17.50 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Yes. 01:32.16 bizzyweb Being ah able to let some stuff go and being able to listen when the time comes right is is just an important skill that I don't think a lot of people have anymore. So. 01:40.15 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb I I agree completely and I think our guest today is perfect for this because there's nobody I know that's more resilient and that's gone through quite the ride as our friend Jeff Redmond so hey Jeff how are you hey good morning. 01:55.11 Jeff Redmon Um, good morning, Good great. 01:57.71 bizzyweb Let's let's let's radio read his bio. Jeff Redmond is a trusted advisor to hundreds of business owners as a business coach and lawyer representing business owners for over 40 years Jeff has seen many individuals and businesses thrive in the face of extraordinary challenges. 01:59.99 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb We'll radio read it. So here we go. 02:14.10 bizzyweb And their business and life unfortunately too many fall to the pressures despite amazing skills, knowledge and abilities Jeff is focused on helping business owners create a life. They love he preaches resiliencies to help extraordinary people not just survive but thrive in their business and their personal life. 02:30.54 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Wow! Well Jeff now I'm impressed in amaze right. 02:33.62 bizzyweb I have a cold today which is why I I can match you for radio voice for radio voice day. But there's no way that I can do that that good on a normal day. 02:43.96 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Ah, that's perfect Jeff it's so good to see you? Yeah so one one of the big things that we wanted to talk about as trigby led in was the importance of resiliency in your business and your life. 02:47.10 Jeff Redmon Um, yeah, it's great to be here. Thanks for inviting me. 03:00.66 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb And I think one of the one of my favorite things about you Jeff is that you're a guy that has more drive than most twenty year olds and you have absolutely no real reason to do that and in in your bio I don't think we talked about it over 40 years in business. But. You know you could be on a beach somewhere nonstop but you're driving and affecting people's lives and change and doing all this stuff so tell us a little bit about your story. 03:28.57 Jeff Redmon Well I was I was about to say I was born a poor black child but I was born in Iowa my you know blue collar roots. Um, first person. I had 14 cousins older than me I was the very first one to graduate from high school and first one certainly to go to college and announced in seventh grade that I was going to be go to law school be a lawyer. 03:49.73 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Ah Wow oh. 04:01.24 Jeff Redmon Um, didn't even know what that meant but I was driven and my parents in their circles. Um, their friends were like no, there's no good lawyers. You have to discourage him. You shouldn't even pay for him to go to school. And but my folks were like hey whatever he wants to do. He'll be great at it and I was single purposed I wanted to be a lawyer came to the twin cities. My wife is from Northern Northwest Iowa we came to the twin cities. Basically so we were 5 hours away from our parents or. Parents couldn't show up unannounced and and you know as a lawyer in a number of different firms partner in a big law firm for 15 years in 2001 I started my own small fancy law firm. 04:41.18 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb That's always wise. 04:56.99 Jeff Redmon And really then had the flexibility to become a business Coach. So I am business lawyer and I facilitate roundtables of but ceos and business owners and in 2008 I Added strategic thinking execution planning to my repertoire so really work with entrepreneurs actively engaged in their business and love every day of it. 05:32.15 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Spectacular. So as as you do that and as you connect with your clients both on the legal side but then also on the advisory and strategy side I know that resiliency is one of the most important things that we come back to and. I'd love for you to set the stage a little bit for us just on what resiliency has been for you over the past couple of years because you've had 1 hell of a journey. 06:00.44 Jeff Redmon Yeah, you know, um in in forty years I've had clients in my office that had business failures and I really was concerned about suicide and i. Force them to make a phone call and get intervention I've had clients that had personal deaths and things and you know some just seem to be better prepared than others I would suggest that. 06:28.97 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Who. 06:34.10 Jeff Redmon None of those things applied to me I Certainly didn't ever have any prop problems. 06:34.60 bizzyweb Well hold on I I want to I want to interrupt there because that's that's awfully severe do I understand that correctly Jeff that you've had people in your office contemplating suicide over business issues. 06:46.41 Jeff Redmon They didn't say that but that's what I felt that I'm not sure they're gonna make it home and I literally required them to make a phone call from my office to call their spouse and you know this is I get. 06:56.81 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb A. 06:59.94 bizzyweb Wow. 07:05.76 Jeff Redmon Very personally involved with clients and you know and they often tell me things that they aren't telling anybody else. So but as it related to me I never held up the mirror I Certainly didn't need this resiliency stuff I was you know, perfect and. 07:06.59 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Henry. 07:22.96 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Um. 07:24.70 Jeff Redmon Everything was wonderful and sure stuff would happen but it didn't occur to me that I would need resiliency but I have it I've had an executive coach for 20 years and he's kind of encouraged me to do a couple things. I did him because he said I wasn't really a true believer believer. But um I was certainly glad that I did them? Um, then about I think it's 2017 one of my coaching. Buddies from Vancouver named Kevin Lawrence he started sharing the stuff that later became his book your own put your as your own oxygen mass first and he worked with really multibillion. 08:11.00 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb He. 08:18.11 Jeff Redmon Dollar ceos around the world and saw all kinds of depression mental issues and he started surveying to see what these ceos were doing to maintain their. Health in vitality despite all the stress and he captured 17 habits that he recorded from these ceos and really that was the first. 08:48.59 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb E. 08:55.88 Jeff Redmon Point that I really saw the compelling need to focus on resiliency and be very purposeful about it so that when challenges happen you're able to deal with them because you have a ah resilient base. 09:11.38 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb He. 09:13.25 Jeff Redmon To draw from. 09:18.66 bizzyweb So You talked about books and I This is one of the things that I as I get older I I I read more and more sales books. But I think I struggle with that because I think sometimes coaches like to have their own patented nine point plan that works. For everyone that if you just do these 9 things then and as it late as it's laid out in my book then everything will be fine but you don't really subscribe to that notion. Do you. 09:48.00 Jeff Redmon Well um, last year I I've forgotten how to read I do audible so I listened to books last year I read over 200 books I've already listened to 35 books this year so I'm on record pace. So i. 10:01.16 bizzyweb Record paint. So. 10:04.96 Jeff Redmon I bring in lots of stuff and process it and Kevin doesn't prescribe these seventeen is is these are 17 things that people have done pick 2 or 3 of them that fits you and do them with purpose in consistency. So for me personally. 10:10.28 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 10:20.65 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb He. 10:24.91 Jeff Redmon The ones I do it's they're kind of referred to as mind body spirit. So I read a half an hour a day that's kind of keeping my mind active. Actually I you know, read way more than that I exercise five six times a week now I've been sick this last year. So it's still on my list but I haven't been doing it but I know that I haven't because I have a daily discipline to record it and then the last one is um, a little unique I call it maintaining ah an empowering context. It's a little bit different. That's just a positive attitude. 10:44.99 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Oh. 11:01.74 Jeff Redmon It's that my short form of saying I live in a world of abundance. The world is going to provide me with every opportunity I need if I'm only open to seeing it and grabbing it so that's maintaining a powering in context maintaining a power empowering context. And I just don't tell myself to do it I have a daily discipline of texting and emailing 3 different people every day and I check those boxes and report to them every single day today. Will be day 1060 that I've done that self and but that so it's it's you have to develop what works for you nobody you know yeah I don't believe that. 11:42.76 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb I Love it. 11:43.39 bizzyweb Who are those people to you. 11:48.95 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Of of. 11:56.81 Jeff Redmon This is the answer. You know you need to fit what works for you to keep that you can do forever so I have Kevin Dom who started me doing this over five years ago 12:02.61 bizzyweb Who are those 3 people. 12:14.51 Jeff Redmon He challenged. He's a business book author one of my good friends but he he knew I was struggling with my weight and he asked me if I was up for a 30 day challenge and I said Kev I can do anything for thirty days but I need to do something that lasts the rest of my life and so in the thirty days I'm gonna figure out what I can do to make this work forever. But his 30 day challenge was every day tell me what you eat and whether or not you exercise. That's how it started. 12:39.42 bizzyweb With. 12:50.54 bizzyweb Ah, okay. 12:51.40 Jeff Redmon and I did seven hundred and eleven days before Twenty January 2021 when I had blood infection and ended up in the hospital and kind of out of commission for a couple months and then I restarted in the spring and that. Is the thousand sixty so I have seven hundred and eleven days on top of my thousand sixty days but it was Kevin and then I have another business coach and a client and each of those asked me to help them and I said you know I'll only do it if it's mutual. 13:13.49 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb If if. 13:22.74 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 13:28.96 Jeff Redmon And so I do the same report and it's expanded over the years um as things become ritualized I can add other things to the list and so before I go to bed I finish a Iphone note I copy it. 13:36.17 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here here. 13:46.83 Jeff Redmon Text it to 2 of them and email it to Kevin and the thing that I added this year last fall we went to italy and I visited Leonardo da vinci museum and in his to do list. He had um study. The tongue of the woodpecker and so in his to do list. He had a curiosity question so I added to because I'm super curious I added a curiosity question to every day I at the bottom I include a question. 14:13.85 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Um, ah, right on. 14:26.21 Jeff Redmon And it's really for me I look it up but Kevin my buddy. He's taken upon himself every day to answer the question. So ah so he replies back Googles it now Leonardo da vinci didn't have Google he had to dissect a woodpecker to figure out how it's done and I would. Encourage I'm not going to tell you how it works but I would encourage the listeners to Google the woodpecker tongue. You'll be very interested in how it's very unique. 14:53.21 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Yeah. 14:59.60 bizzyweb So Jeff with all of your experience and all of the different companies that you've worked with um to tell us about one that just had ah just a monster challenge and how they worked it out. 15:08.92 Jeff Redmon Well I was thinking about that you know I could almost every single client has some sort of challenge that I've heard about that. They've gotten through but the one that really came to mind and he's kind of been double blasted. But back in the real estate recession of the o 6 to zero eight area they had um, real estate with 50% equity which at the time most people have 25% well their land. Went down so they were under collateralized the bank. The bank loan was more than the value of the land and he didn't know what to do? He's you know, completely stressed out. Um and I actually. Worked with him but and talked to him about it but I wasn't dealing with the stress part of his life at that time but 1 of his advisors said well, what's the worst it happened well I go bankrupt and know. Yeah, but nobody's going to die are they no, nobody's gonna die and. He said well I don't know what to do. He says? Well we can figure that out. You just quit and you know that will we'll find out what happens well, that's not quitting is not an option said well then every single day. 16:28.65 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb A. 16:40.53 Jeff Redmon You have to hunker down and do what you can do this very day now they made it through all of that and they used profits from another business to make the payments to the bank. 16:54.23 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb A. 16:56.21 Jeff Redmon The banks did a workout and this is I mean this was a ten fifteen million dollar loan so this is a big loan and they made it through and but that was the resiliency that he made him get through that. Now. Fast forward 1015 years he has diagnosed with multiple myeloma which is a ah disease Tom Broca had it. Basically they say it's uncurable and. 17:25.17 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here if. 17:35.20 Jeff Redmon He considered his situation with the real estate is the time that prepared him for the storm because now he's actually cancer free. They can't detect any of the multiple myeloma but that resiliency that he built. 17:46.40 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 17:54.57 Jeff Redmon You know years before served him during that time when he was going through you know, horrible treatments at the Mayo clinic. 18:05.62 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Um, well and you're a living example of resiliency in the face of adversity and you've had a couple of bumps and I know that despite your health challenges and the things that you're welcome to share if you want. But yeah, we we were talking was like yeah I'm getting done with one of my. 18:17.80 bizzyweb Things like your bright 21 but 18:23.76 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Um, treatments and then I've got I've got to get on the plan to go Scuba diving again. So yeah, Tell tell us a little bit about what you've gone through like just personally challenges and how you like what was especially poignant to me is you need something to look forward to. 18:30.67 Jeff Redmon Um. 18:39.88 Jeff Redmon Yeah, well go back to 2000 I'm in peak physical condition I have a cycling coach. He gives me workouts every single day. 18:41.93 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb And so tell us a little bit about that. 18:56.42 Jeff Redmon I do them I rode my bike three thousand miles I'm in great shape. The fall comes I move transitioning to indoors and where I'd gone like eighteen months without missing a workout I just like a couple of days I just wouldn't do it. 19:12.81 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 19:14.91 Jeff Redmon And I'm thinking. Well it's just the fall. Well that keeps getting worse and worse and come January Thirteenth two Thousand and twenty one I'm preparing to do one of my business owner peer groups. We do it by Zoom. This covid time and I tell my wife you know I'm really tired but I think I can make it then I'll just go to bed 15 minutes later I call her and say hey honey I think you got to take me to the hospital. So I go to the hospital they're treating it like covid. Ah, go to urgent care. They immediately send me to the emergency room. They put me in the hospital I'm in the new richmond hospital for five days when they transfer me to regents I mean literally in the hospital Twenty eight days the five days in Westfield Hospital 20:04.27 bizzyweb You for. 20:11.67 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Yeah. 20:11.87 Jeff Redmon I Have no recollection I remember one day and I have no recollection. But so I had a blood infection and it took out my heart heart valve artificial heart valve and I was one sick boy this is another resiliency tool. 20:22.49 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 20:30.89 Jeff Redmon It's called the stockdale paradox James Stockdale was the highest ranking um person that was a resident of hanoi Hilton po w in Vietnam. What's that yep. 20:42.76 bizzyweb Are you talking about the the vice presidential candidate The vice presidential candidate. Okay, yep, okay. 20:50.85 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb 4 20:51.90 Jeff Redmon Ross Perot he was Ross Rose vice presidential vice presidential candidate he was a medal of honor recipient but he was in Hanoi Hilton for Eight and a half years and jim collins that most people will be familiar with of good to great interviewed him to figure out. 21:01.44 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Oh. 21:10.65 Jeff Redmon How in the world. Did you get through eight and a half years and he had 3 principles and I applied those every single day in the hospital one is you got to accept the brutal truths. They are what they are. There's nothing. You can do about them so you accept the brutal facts second is an unwavering faith that no matter what you're going to do whatever it takes to get through this. And then the third one which frankly I didn't think about when I was in the hospital but the third one is when you get through it. You're going to be a better person may not know how but you're going to be a better person. So while I'm in the hospital Twenty eight days I don't have the energy to read a text. 21:49.81 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb In it. 21:58.97 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb A. 22:00.81 Jeff Redmon I would call my wife and say you know Dave Meyer sent me a text I don't know what he said but reach out and see what what he wants, but every single day hundreds of times a day I would say whatever it takes. They would say hey we're going to do this procedure. It's going to hurt if I can do it. Whatever it takes and that got me through it I was twenty eight days um ended up with replacing my artificial heart valve put in a pacemaker. 22:21.61 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 22:35.52 Jeff Redmon My kidneys stopped I went on to that dialysis full recovery. You know I'm just fine but there was times when didn't know if I was going to make it that when they put my pacemaker in my heart stopped for 14 seconds and my daughter who's a doctor she says dad they call that flat lining you were dead but you know I didn't think of it that way. The third part that I didn't think about it where I came out of and I've talked at the hospital many times as a grateful patient. 22:57.74 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Really. 23:03.16 bizzyweb It was purposefully dead though. 23:13.93 Jeff Redmon I Accuse the nursing staff of every day enlarging my gratitude Gland because I came out there with just an attitude of gratitude like I've never had before and that was how I came out a better person but that was um. 23:21.36 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Um, oh yeah I like that. Um. 23:21.77 bizzyweb Um, ah. 23:33.50 Jeff Redmon You know, ah a resiliency challenge that I didn't expect I I really I didn't ever think I was gonna die I came out positive I attacked my um Cardiac Rehab um. 23:37.40 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 23:53.20 Jeff Redmon Then move forward to 2023 I have melanoma removed in 2021 and that recurs so this past year I now have melanoma floating around my body. It's. Metastasized in my lung and on my liver and I start treatment and as Dave said I think as a way to deny cancer was going to slow me down my wife and I took 17 trips. In 2023 we including a scuba trip. We went to italy I mean it was wonderful. We went to Utah the the parks there but it that resiliency I think in. 24:31.63 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Um, and like good trips in these are yeah. 24:47.58 Jeff Redmon 2023 I was talking to the guy that had the real estate in multiple myeloma we were sharing stories and I said you know I think in 2023 I maybe had five days not in a row where I just said why me. 24:55.22 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 25:06.37 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb A. 25:07.52 Jeff Redmon You know, kind of that victim mentality and he says you know you're kind of entitled in three hundred and sixty five days to have five days where you can feel sorry for yourself. But every day I felt like a gift I am amazingly blessed. 25:18.00 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb That's fair. 25:22.89 Jeff Redmon The resiliency for me has caused me to have I describe it. My glass is not half fold half empty it is overflowing so when bad things happen. My cup is still overflowing I just feel amazingly blessed. But that's. A resiliency muscle that I've been very purposeful to build and nurture. 25:49.12 bizzyweb Reminds me of the old joke that pessimist says the glass is half empty. The optimistim says the glass is half full and the engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be let's it. 26:01.43 Jeff Redmon Ah, well and unfortunately I know people that their glass is bone dry. They just don't see the joy of living and being blessed. 26:06.30 bizzyweb Yeah, yeah. 26:14.58 bizzyweb Let's take a quick break and then we'll come back. We're going to talk about good stress and bad stress when we come back. 26:18.34 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb All right. 26:23.56 bizzyweb We're back with Jeff having an emotional conversation with 3 dudes. Not that this is weird at all talking about our feelings Jeff what's good stress and bad stress positive and negative stress. 26:26.47 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb I. 26:31.97 Jeff Redmon Well yeah, so we think of stress as somebody dying losing your job getting in a car wreck. That's all this you know people think about as stress but the American instance. 26:45.59 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 26:50.28 Jeff Redmon Institute of stress has a stress assessment and I think there's 42 things and each one has a numeric value and about half of those are positive things marriage for instance, well some of us think that that's a wonderful thing. Not so positive for others. But marriage is on there. The birth of a child is on there getting a promotion is on there because sometimes high achieving individuals are living on the edge there. 1 thing can throw them off. 27:14.32 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 27:26.78 Jeff Redmon And that may be a positive or a negative. It may be that one more customer that they've been trying to get and they get and they realize oh my god what has happened and it causes the the to break the bubble. So. You know it can be a good thing or a bad thing. Um, and we just have to bear in mind a conversation with a client this last week and they are seeing a therapist which frankly I think everybody should see see therapist I've done that um. And his therapist has suggested that there was a few things in his life that he hadn't really processed well those things were positive things that he didn't understand the the stress implication of that. 28:12.43 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb A. 28:22.13 Jeff Redmon It's the time commitment. You know in my world I talk about helping my clients create a life. They love well when they're at work. They're stressed that they have missed family obligations when they're at home. They're worried about. What isn't getting done at work. So you know that's the stress and you know just pausing and taking time to enjoy life my clients often. Don't do that. You know it's been years since they've taken a vacation and when they do they check their email and phones. Twenty four seven so they're not really giving themselves a break so that's I think just the appreciation that stress is not always just negative things that we have wonderful things that happen in our life but they add complication to our life. They take time. 29:08.52 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 29:18.10 Jeff Redmon Takes time away from other things so that's where managing the stress and building a resiliency muscle I think is absolutely critical. 29:27.71 bizzyweb And I think it's important to say that I think especially in the part of the country where we live where everybody doesn't like talking about themselves and certainly doesn't like talking about their feelings is. It's rarely that the the positive and negative stress is rarely 1 thing. 29:45.30 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb A. 29:47.20 bizzyweb I mean obviously I have a blood infection and I'm in the hospital for a month that's kind of a big thing. But for most people it's not 1 thing it's 12 and if you some a buddy says. Well, what's going on and you try and explain it. You kind of feel sheepish because. 29:55.39 Jeff Redmon Are. 30:05.76 bizzyweb All these little things or some of these are good things. They're just taking time and but it just it's driving you bananas like I had that this past summer where I was fighting with my insurance company in addition to doing my stressful job in addition to doing everything else and. The end of the day I just had to keep reminding myself. Well I'm getting all these siding and the insurance is company's covering it so. The juice is kind of worth the squeeze. 30:31.62 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb A. 30:32.10 Jeff Redmon Well and what happens it's kind of like you put the frog in a pot of water and then you crank up the heat and they don't They'll never jump out. We put them in hot water. They jump out. But. 30:44.97 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Who. 30:49.25 Jeff Redmon The pressure builds and you add life just gets more and more and more it's ready to burst but you don't even realize this is just normal for me and you know I've taken one three week vacation in my life. And it took about a week to unwind then you have a week where like this is wonderful and then you have a week of worrying that you're gonna have to go back to work. So I mean you just um, our lives get complicated and they build and build and you add 1 more thing and you don't. And then you lash out at your spouse because you're comfortable lashing out at them. But it has nothing to do with them. It's this buildup of pressure that you describe that just gets accumulation and sometimes. 31:33.94 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Right. 31:44.25 Jeff Redmon Well and we talk about work life balance what Kevin Lawrence suggests is you got to insert self in there. You have to have he suggests 10 to 20% of your time should be on taking care of yourself. 31:45.50 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 32:03.66 Jeff Redmon And that's where these resiliency rituals come In. It's vacations away from everything you know sure it may be time with your spouse. That's critical to that. But sometimes it's time with yourself and for me. I get energy from being around people. Other people get energy from being by themselves. So That's why there's not one model that fits everybody. What is it that helped that gives you energy and you know and I I'm 66 People ask you know like are you retired and I said well I have a different definition of retired I don't do anything I don't want to do into which my wife would suggest Well you must have been retired for a long time because you don't do a damn thing. You don't want to do but I. 32:55.78 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb So. 33:00.86 Jeff Redmon I Characterize it as what gives me energy and what sucks energy I Just do very few things in my life that suck energy I don't have clients that suck energy I delegate things that draw energy in my work and you know and. 33:12.82 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here here. 33:20.83 Jeff Redmon Law and coaching I have buddies that say hey when are you can decide what you're gonna focus on for me I could do more law I could do more coaching but 1 I do it enough that it gives me energy and I don't get to the point where it drains and that when I switch to something else that gives me energy. 33:34.55 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Sure Yeah, it's important to have a balance and to be able to do things in different things recharge you in different ways. 33:40.38 Jeff Redmon And so yeah. Yeah, exactly that we once had a I'm on school board 27 years went a high school principal who wanted to be the basketball coach and 1 of the guys said you know on the board said you know if you have enough time to be a coach. You should be spending more time being a principal. And he said you know I give my heart and soul to being a principal coaching would be a diversion that actually in another way give would give me energy to make me a better principal I thought that was a beautiful answer. We didn't let it be a coach but hit. 34:04.32 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Um. 34:19.99 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb May him. 34:22.80 Jeff Redmon I thought it was the right attitude that sometimes doing something completely different is what gives you energy and so that's I think it's about that's what resiliency is about. Finding that balance that you can handle life's challenges in my world I I have an app that literally measures my muscle and I start out at 0 now my muscles like 1500 and I described that. 34:48.78 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Who. 34:55.93 Jeff Redmon Life's little challenges don't even get close to the line for me now you have cancer that 1 kind of goes above the line and I got to work to you know that's a challenge but as you work on this resiliency rituals. You will get stronger and stronger at building your resiliency muscle. 34:57.71 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 35:14.80 Jeff Redmon So that you will find that the little things that used to bother you Just don't bother you Anymore. You don't fret about them and now you're still going to have the big challenges that are going to stress you out and that's okay, let's talk about it and you know we can talk about what to do if you're in Crisis. But. Um, you really need to be persistent on building that resiliency muscle. 35:42.75 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Let's let's talk about that a little bit because as a business coach as a lawyer and in personal life I know that you've dealt with a lot of executives and people that are you know pardon pardon the phrase dialing it in for their business and their lives so as they come up to those. Big challenges. What are the first questions that you ask them to maybe nudge those folks in the right direction toward either assessing or fixing or asking for the right help in their business or their personal lives. 36:04.64 bizzyweb Toward either business. 36:12.50 Jeff Redmon Well kind of 2 things 1 is I talk about resiliency in almost every business owner meeting I have what are you doing to stay fit. What are you doing to keep your mind sharp one of the conversations I had with Kevin Lawrence as he um was introducing his book and I'll say the thing that I kind of added to the business world was you know we have business in our leadership teams. We have metrics sales metrics operational metrics. I said why don't we have personal metrics every one of our leadership teams should have their resiliency rituals and at every team meeting. They need to broadcast red yellow green you're doing it. You're not I don't care what they are. You're either doing it or you aren't doing it. 37:03.35 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb And. 37:07.53 Jeff Redmon So I had a depression stage in 1918 or 2018 and when I recovered I realized I had not read a book for five months I hadn't listened to my audible for five months 37:17.10 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Wow! yeah. 37:22.70 Jeff Redmon Well your resiliency rituals become your canary in the coal mine that so now in our leadership team meeting. You know I haven't been to the gym for two weeks it isn't like oh terrible you. It's like like any other business metric. What can we do to help you. Do I need to go to the gym with you. What can we do and so the start conversation for me starts at the beginning I'm just talking about this I probably people feel. It's a broken record because they don't always listen. But I've had. 37:56.23 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb So. 37:59.96 Jeff Redmon Situations which I mentioned before where literally in the room I have I need to call my therapist I haven't talked to him for months or years here's the phone dial him right now because they when you're in a depression. You can't even. Find the number to call your therapist in 2018 I mean I just I did everything was dark for me when I close my eyes. It felt like the black swirleys I was going down the toilet. So like I didn't want to sleep I didn't want to close my eyes. 38:19.20 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Right. 38:32.85 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 38:37.85 Jeff Redmon And as I came out of it I would tell people you know I can wear my rose colored glasses for you know a few minutes but I can't wear them all day and I'd build and build what I found out in the end is the light was always there I just couldn't see it. So I think um. You know, starting way before they have an issue but in 26023 in my peer groups. You know I have 15 people in my peer groups I had 2 individuals. 38:59.48 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 39:16.22 Jeff Redmon 1 ended up in the hospital and one ended up like having to get out of everything they had to come. They drop everything that they were doing their daughter was managing their schedule because they just weren't healthy and so it's real for people and. 39:27.23 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb We. 39:36.19 Jeff Redmon You know if you're in that situation. You know, call 9 one one I mean they will intervene. There's all kinds of hotlines you can call. There's ah it's called the mental health continuum and it'll give you the continuum of healthy. And it moves across and the last one is ill and you need immediate inner interaction and as I've walked through this mental health continuum with clients over the years I would say most entrepreneurs are more in the. 39:55.35 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 40:11.94 Jeff Redmon Just short of being Ill but they're on the edge because they're so I mean they're high achieving people. They are pushing the envelope to succeed and you know hopefully thrive and these resiliency rituals are the thing that can help them maintain not that. Stuff doesn't still happen that's going to come. 40:32.95 bizzyweb I read. Ah I read an interesting essay by pen gillette the magician about this and he set his entire concept I think is true that the notion of Manliness Hollywood has completely wrong. 40:36.31 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Um, yeah. 40:50.84 bizzyweb Manlines because you know in in every action movie. The hero gets shot but he keeps going from another 25 minutes even though he's bleeding from the stomach or you know oh he says oh it's just a flesh wound and he keeps going and there's generations of men who've been growned up and conditioned to think that you can do what. Sylvester Stillone dead and you know if you get shot. Great run gunpowder through the wound and then cauterize it yourself and and then you be fine and it's just simply not true. You know and real bravery is facing the things you don't want to face real bravery is talking about your feelings. When you feel shitty oh I'm sorry sorry editors when you when you feel bad depression is not something that you can talk your way out of it's an actual physical thing that requires medication and it requires intervention to deal with. 41:46.81 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb And professional help. Yeah. 41:50.16 bizzyweb and and and penn's ah and Penn's um sort of conclusion is you know, real bravery is sitting in that room wearing that paper gown and having that kid half your age tell you? what's wrong with you. 42:03.83 Jeff Redmon Yeah, well and that's why as I was talking to Kevin and a couple other coaches that deal with big companies with you know, high powered leadership teamc -suite and that having that. Resiliency ritual metric allows a conversation about mental health before it's a crisis. You just say it's yellow I haven't been to the gym for a while or I haven't been doing this. You're honest, just as you are with all your business metrics. 42:33.48 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb A. 42:40.40 Jeff Redmon It's just part of the weekly monthly conversation and so when that canary in the coal mine is flickering. We can deal with it before it becomes a crisis and I think it's a way that egotistical people. 42:55.98 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Are. 42:57.87 Jeff Redmon Can talk about mental health without saying you know I'm really feeling blue today. It's like no, there's something going on and you know in that conversation you say well Bob you just got that big contract I have to believe you're stressed. How can we help you. 43:13.23 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Right. 43:15.30 Jeff Redmon And it allows that conversation because it's not okay I mean people feel. It's not okay to say and so that's why I have this conversation because I want people to feel comfortable. Lots of people look up to me and see me as a trusted advisor and to say. 43:31.60 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb A. 43:34.47 Jeff Redmon You know I'm human I've had these same struggles myself and I've been to therapists and talked to them and that has helped and where nobody ever wants to talk about it and I think it's It's just something and I appreciate you guys having this. Podcast on resiliency because it should be like a broken arm. You know it's a medical thing that we should get help for and you wouldn't not talk about the cast on your arm. You know people are going to ask about it where they don't see the mental Health depression. 43:56.89 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Right. 44:05.39 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 44:12.46 Jeff Redmon And so it's harder to talk about it but needs to be talked about. 44:15.68 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb There's for for the business leaders that you work with all the time as well. I think it's doubly dangerous because not only is the pressure um somewhat more severe certainly on the on the business side of their lives. But I'm speaking personally. There's always pressure to show the world. No weakness because you're leading an organization. You need to exude confidence and you just kind of grunt through it and and do what you have to so you have to work real hard. With the people that I'm sure you're working with and and that you counsel to understand that it's okay and you don't have to present this impenetrable fortress to the world and that sometimes it can be even more helpful if you allow yourself to be vulnerable. And at least to look at and say yeah I'm I'm yellow right now or things are tending toward red and so I really need some help because we're all in this together. 45:17.48 Jeff Redmon Well, that's why I'm such a huge fan of peer groups. You know as the business leader coaching my team whether they're executive team or operational team I can't show any weakness. 45:20.87 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Here. 45:33.53 Jeff Redmon But in a peer group with other business owners I can be myself and so I'm a huge fan of peer groups I mentioned to my accountability partners. We don't really reply I mean each one have their own list of things. 45:34.34 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Right. 45:48.71 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb A. 45:50.94 Jeff Redmon We don't necessarily reply unless we see something that hey that isn't right? and usually you notice it yourself because you've marked it down but I firm believer in peer groups as that place where you can be open and honest about what's going on. And having accountability partners that somebody here are my rituals having that if you just do it yourself. You're gonna miss a day and then you're gonna miss a week but if you have an accountability partner that. The 2 of you are holding each other accountable Marshall Goldsmith is I mean he's had had the same accountability partner for twenty some years and I think in his case they actually they actually have a conversation every day now. Mine is a text and as I mentioned it's evolved so I added. 46:35.38 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Yeah. 46:47.51 Jeff Redmon Gratitude is on my list I Want to have an affirmative expression of gratitude every day something more than just I appreciate being on this podcast but telling a waitress that I really appreciate how she was attentive to me or the receptionist at The. Doctor's office. These are people that never get appreciated and so that's my one one of the things on my list is gratitude understanding that it is physically mentally psychologically impossible. To be grateful and pissy at the same Time. So. 47:26.90 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb I think that's a perfect place to to pause and to let everyone know where they can find you because Jeff you've got a massive amount of of talent and empathy for people and. 47:27.66 bizzyweb Chair. 47:42.89 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb I'd love for you to share where people can find you online and connect. 47:46.90 Jeff Redmon Yes, so Redmond law dot com is my law website. Oh my contact is information is there on the coaching side we are called breakthrough impact group and the website is min big minnbigdotcom and just. Love working with business owners and and really my why the simon cynic why is helping people create lives they love and sometimes it's not more money. It's going on vague I mean a success in my world is I went to the. Vacation for the first time and I didn't check email once that was a huge business success for 1 of my clients and it's not always just about money. 48:32.90 Dave Meyer_ BizzyWeb Um, that's awesome. Well thanks for the time Jeff this has been amazing.